Columbus Day weekend proved to be a pivotal moment in history for the Villians, much like Christopher Columbus' discovery of America 519 years ago. The Villians man-handled Harvard in 2 games over the week-end, winning 4-0 on Saturday and 9-2 on Sunday, to remain in first place on put the rest of the league on notice. There were parallels throughout the week-end to Columbus and the great explorers of history. Let's get to them:
When Columbus set sail west from Spain, his intention was to hit the West Indies. Instead, he hit what would become Miami or some shit. What he didn't know at the time, was the land he discovered would one day become the U.S.A., the greatest country on Earth, a nation in first place in the world. Similarly, the Villians simply set out to win a few games, but instead discovered an incredibly potent offense and a shut-down defense (when needed). They set sail for victory and discovered the fruits of their journey were far more than they could have asked for.
A less glorious portrait of Columbus has been painted by some historians. For, there were already Native Americans in this land for hundreds of years before Columbus "discovered" America. Columbus opened the door for Europeans to come over and destroy, rape, pillage, and build a great nation on the backs of colonialism and slave labor. Similarly, The Villians encountered a soccer team in Harvard who, while seemingly decent people, needed to be exploited for the less-sophistaced savages that they were. That is what the Villians did. They exposed this team and exploited the fact that they lacked the skill and resources to make a stand in the world of dog-eat-dog Division 5 soccer.
In Sunday's match, Juice was like Magellan times two. See, Magellan was the first explorer to circumnavigate the globe by boat, sort of the equivalent of scoring a hat trick in a Division 5 over-30 soccer match. Well, Juice scored freaking 6 goals! That's right... 6!! Dude had 5 at half-time! In explorer metaphors, that is a double circumnavigation of the globe! Yeah, Magellan... real impressive buddy... but we got planes now, and we got Juice!!
There are reports that Columbus died an unhappy man, as he had intended to be the first explorer to sail west and circle the globe. Instead, he hit Miami (hopefully South Beach was poppin with some fine Native American women only wearing leaves), and didn't make it around the earth, leaving that feat for Magellan. This is kinda like Cam, who after scoring a goal in Saturday's game remarked that he was the Villians leading scorer. Um, then Juice a.k.a. Magellan showed up Sunday and put Cam in his place, probabbly for good.
OK. That's about as far as I can go with Explorer Metaphors. Can't think of any other explorers besides Vasco De Gama, and I have no idea what he did, and I refuse to spend too much more time on fucking Villian soccer. I am already in the dog house at home for spending the whole weekend at the soccer field. It should be noted though that there were a handful of players who were true warriors for the Villian cause, playing both games throughout the weekend, and we're all paying for it now with the inability to walk straight. Brendan, Rabbit, Joe, Nick, Ryan, Gatchell, and Cam. While key contributions were made by every single player who showed up at either game over the weekend, some quick notes on the 2-game warriors: Brendan played very solid at keeper on Saturday, then scored a goal late in the game, then got obliterated on the golf course, passed out at 6:00 pm and played another stellar match Sunday. Rabbit played a ton of defense all weekend, and still managed to get like 4 assists. The Rabbit-to-Juice thru-balls were workin well. There was one good player on Harvard: #9. He was fast as hell and Nick and Joe chased him down all game Saturday. Ran him so hard he pulled something, injured himself, and didn't even show up Sunday. So, Nick and Joe moved up to forward for the second half of the second game and created some nice chances and even capitalized on a few (and missed a few others). Ryan and Gatchell held down the middle like they always do. Gatch dug out every ball he could, and some I didn't think he could, and scored a goal. Ryan controlled the ball and set up a bunch of scoring opportunities. We already talked about Cam, who is showing a nice knack for the goal these days, and tellin everyone about it.
All-in-all, great week-end! And yeah I'm not above closing it on an awful Explorer play-n-words.... Vasco de Gama, you say? I say Villians-got-Game-a!!!
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